oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
