some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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