Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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