Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
