I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
