she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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