I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
