WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
