do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
