how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
