I hate all girls vehemently.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize