Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
