Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
