i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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