Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
