ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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