8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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