David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
