i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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