I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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