what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize