Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
