dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
vagina is talking i cant
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
