Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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