I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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