you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
