You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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