So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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