A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Randomize
