nut hugger
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
