I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
