How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
