Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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