Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I had to cum in my sink.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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