one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
