Umm I'm too high to move.
just tell him i said nine months
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
