i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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