kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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