Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
