to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
