haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
