i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
