so that wasnt chicken after all
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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