Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
...so i touched it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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