how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
