How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
