she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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