I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
