But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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