my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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