He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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