I think im going to throw up on grandma
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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