Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
