when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
