stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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