I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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