Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
