I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
