I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
