I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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