I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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