just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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