Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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