Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
